Humor Quotes / Quotations 

Famous Quotes and Quotations about Humor

Humor Quotes 101-150 out of 386
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Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
more Honore de Balzac quotes
Conform and be dull.
more James Frank Dobie quotes
Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
more Alexandre Dumas quotes
There was a time when Christians took faith as seriously as Mid-Eastern Muslims currently do: the Medieval Era.
more Wayne Dunn quotes
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
more Finley Peter Dunne quotes
A liberal's like to be lax
When recommending a tax.
With a glut in his heart
And his brain low a quart,
He will give you
the shirts off our backs.

more F. R. Duplantier quotes
Why doesn't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone?
more Jimmy Durante quotes
This article will probably be photocopied and passed around the offices of exactly the same organizations that queue up to denounce copyright theft.
more The Economist quotes
Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen.
more Bob Edwards quotes
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
more Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes
There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
more Richard Feynman quotes
If the human body's obscene, complain to the manufacturer, not me.
more Larry Flynt quotes
The Declaration of Independence, the words that launched our nation -- 1,300 words. The Bible, the word of God -- 773,000 words. The Tax Code, the words of politicians -- 7,000,000 words -- and growing!
more Steve Forbes quotes
Moderation in all things -- including moderation.
more Benjamin Franklin quotes
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
more Benjamin Franklin quotes
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!
more Benjamin Franklin quotes
Freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West coast.
more Viktor Frankyl quotes
Isn't it wonderful to live in a country where anyone can grow up to sleep with the President?
more Kevin Freels quotes
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand.
more Milton Friedman quotes
Some want prayer in school, some want condoms. Printing prayers on condoms satisfies nobody.
more Marshall Fritz quotes
You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly, too.
more John Kenneth Galbraith quotes
Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
more John Kenneth Galbraith quotes
I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work.
more Gallagher quotes
I think it would be an excellent idea.
more Mahatma Mohandas K. Gandhi quotes
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
more Brendan Gill quotes
Truth: the most deadly weapon ever discovered by humanity. Capable of destroying entire perceptual sets, cultures, and realities. Outlawed by all governments everywhere. Possession is normally punishable by death.
more John Gilmore quotes
I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.
more Arthur Godfrey quotes
A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone.
more Jo Godwin quotes
America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
more Bobcat Goldthwait quotes
Few great men could pass Personnel.
more Paul Goodman quotes
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
more Graffiti quotes
I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
more Graffiti quotes
Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
more Graffiti quotes
The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
more Wavy Gravy quotes
If it weren't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
more A. K. Griffin quotes
Anything anybody can say about America is true.
more Emmett Grogan quotes
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
more Texas Guinan quotes
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites.'
more Larry Hardiman quotes
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
more Lucille S. Harper quotes
...[A] fool cannot be protected from his folly. If you attempt to do so, you will not only arouse his animosity but also you will be attempting to deprive him of whatever benefit he is capable of deriving from experience. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
more Robert A. Heinlein quotes
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
more Heisenberg quotes
The problem is, of course, that not only is economics bankrupt but it has always been nothing more than politics in disguise ... economics is a form of brain damage.
more Hazel Henderson quotes
Talk is cheap -- except when Congress does it.
more Cullen Hightower quotes
The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if the next Congress didn't keep trying to correct them.
more Cullen Hightower quotes
You can never get enough of what you don't really need.
more Eric Hoffer quotes
In Washington, of course, evading responsibility is an art form, so it is not always easy to tell who's responsible for which mess.
more David Horowitz quotes
I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
more Edgar Watson Howe quotes
Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of a field in hope that the cow will back up to them.
more Elbert Hubbard quotes
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
more Elbert Hubbard quotes
Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
more Frank McKinney Hubbard quotes
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Humor Quotes 101-150 out of 386
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