Will Rogers Quote

Freedom?  It is illegal to be free!  You can holler all you like, you just can't actually exercise your freedom — that'll put you in jail but quick. 

Free speech? Sure, unless it challenges the status quo or you expose abuses of power. 
Possession of arms?  Sure, unless you actually use them in self-defense. 
Freedom of religion?  Sure, unless you try to pray in school or in front of an abortion clinic, or refuse to be forcibly injected by the state — heck, Christians are treated like second-class citizens, while judges can now take Sharia law into account when litigating cases of "honor killing." 
Private property rights?  Sure, as long as you pay your taxes (which have no limits), get permission to plant or grow anything, let thieves rob you instead of preventing their crimes — stop a shoplifter, and you can be prosecuted.
Freedom from slavery? Hah!  Servitude is the biggest racket in the world!

I get no joy from hollering for my freedom.  I'll be joyful when we get it!