A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief. |
Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it. |
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. |
Elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with Public Officials. |
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. |
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury! |
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father'. |
I don't make jokes -- I just watch the government and report the facts. |
Income taxes have made more liars out of the American people than golf. |
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. |
Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off. |
If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives. |
This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great. |
You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets. |
An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too. |
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. |
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. |
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. |
I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you. |
One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape. |
