I don't make jokes -- I just watch the government and report the facts.
Income taxes have made more liars out of the American people than golf.
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father'.
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!
A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief.
Elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with Public Officials.
Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off.
If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives.
You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets.
This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great.
An economist is a man that can tell you...what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.